I’ve been planning weddings here in Boston for over 15 years…and planned over 300 weddings. I still, after all this time, absolutely love planning the day-of timelines with my clients. It’s so fun to pull out the things that are important to the couple and turn them into special moments for their Big Day. It always kills me though, that even couples who want their wedding to be totally unique and different, often feel so obligated to incorporate traditions just because they feel they are “supposed to.”

So here is my soapbox moment: there is NO SUCH THING as wedding police. You can do whatever you want. Just be sure your decisions are intentional. And I’m not knocking traditions…I love traditions! Take them, leave them…it’s your choice as long as you know the reason you are doing them (though once you know their origins you may be more likely to leave them :)). To help fill you in, here is a list of 7 Common Wedding traditions with their strange origins.

Not Seeing the Bride before the Ceremony

The concept of it being bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony actually started from arranged marriages where it was believed that if the bride or the groom didn’t like what they saw, they might call off the wedding. So, if you already know who you are marrying, you can go ahead and have that first look pre-ceremony!

2. Carrying the Bridal Bouquet

Ancient Greek brides carried herbs to ward off evil spirits. I’ve also read that in the days of not-so-awesome hygiene brides would carry fragrant flowers to mask body odor. How romantic?

3. Giving Away the Bride

The tradition of the bride’s father walking her down the aisle (which honestly chokes me up no matter how many ceremonies I witness), unsurprisingly symbolizes the transfer of “ownership” of the bride from father to husband (barf). So for all you brides out there that want to go it alone down the aisle, I say- YOU GO GIRL. I can’t pull that off, can I?

4. The White Wedding Dress

So I always thought this was to represent virginity/purity but turns out it is just a trend that stuck around. Apparently brides historically wore RED until Queen Victoria got married in 1840 and wore a white lacey gown. This trend of the white wedding dress became bigger than The Rachel haircut and has been influencing bridal fashion ever since.

5. Tossing the Bouquet & Garter

This one is cracking me up. It used to be tradition for couples to consummate their marriage right after the ceremony. The bouquet toss was meant to be “a distraction” so they could peel away, and the groom would come back with the garter to show proof that the deed had been done. BRB….just have to go throw up in my mouth a little.

6. The Best Man

And you thought giving the toast was hard?? The original duty of the Best Man was to make sure the bride didn’t run away/escape before arranged marriage ceremonies. Paging Julia Roberts….

7. Carrying the Bride over the Threshold

Back in the day it was considered “unladylike” for a bride to seem as if she wanted to leave her father’s home. Thus the act of being carried or forced over the threshold. How sweet.

So there you have it. Traditions, though often with strange and even sexist origins, can be a lot of fun. I just encourage to make them yours and if they don’t seem to fit with the day you are creating, I am giving you permission to ditch them! And if you want more help creating a day that is uniquely and totally yours, I can help wiht that too. xoxo

The Weird Origins Behind 7 Common Wedding Traditions

Not Seeing the Bride before the Ceremony