Love in The Time of Covid-19
To postpone, elope or evolve?
I remember when the recession of 2008 hit and many of my friends in the event industry were laid off. The world was spending less money and our non-profit and corporate clients were scaling way back on their large fetes. The lay-offs didn’t last too long though. Guess who wasn’t scaling back? Weddings. Maybe some families were spending less on flowers or lighting, but for the most part, individuals who were planning on having an upscale wedding had saved appropriately and were not going to let the dropping Dow get in the way of their life-long (25 whole years) dream wedding. “Ha!,” I thought, “I’ve found the recession-proof industry!” Cue the entire industry coming to a grinding halt on March 16, 2020. Cue Alanis Morisette singing “Ironic.”
Well, weddings as we know them may be recession-proof, but they are not pandemic-proof. While I believe that they will be the first type of event to come back, with large gatherings off the table for the foreseeable future, engaged couples worldwide have had to rethink plans and priorities. I had 12 wedding couples I was personally working with that had their “I do’s” scheduled between May -October of 2020. For each one, we talked about 3 options.
1- Postponing the wedding as originally envisioned until 2021 or beyond. “What’s the rush?” said bride-to-be Katie McKenna, whose May 2020 wedding was first pushed to late September and then moved a second time to July of 2021. “I already live with my fiancé. We are excited to be married but waiting an extra 14 months so we can share our commitment in front of everyone we love without putting anyone’s safety at risk is worth the wait. We just didn’t want to be in the position to scale back and have to tell guests that had received our original save-the-date that they didn’t make the cut for our ‘Take 2.’ We are in love with the wedding we planned and we are excited to share it with our loved ones when the world is in a safer place.” It’s your wedding. If you are like Aaron Burr and “willing to wait for it, wait for it,” you should!
Custom stationery suite including a “Change the Date” card from Lynn Graham Designs
2- Wed Now. Party Later. For many couples, postponing the actual “getting married",” part just doesn’t seem right. “The toughest part for us was the ‘in-between’ contemplating time-- debating if we should postpone, trying to estimate the unknown future of when things will be safe, watching the news updates and numbers constantly. Once we finally made the decision to postpone our larger celebration and secured all of our vendors for the new date, a huge weight was lifted.,” said Alyssa Wilde, who opted to move forward with her May 2020 wedding ceremony (at her chosen venue) but postponed the reception until 2021. “We decided to still officially get married on our original date with just our parents and siblings present (at a distance), and we are SO GLAD that we did. Our biggest advice for couples going through this is to remember the reason behind why you’re having a wedding in the first place. Ultimately the health of our family and friends was more important than our party right now- so we will celebrate with them later on when it’s safe! Until then- we’re grateful that we are healthy and enjoying this time being newlyweds.. quarantine and all!”
Alyssa & Jake Wilde exchange vows in front of their closest family members at a barn ceremony this past May. The originally planned reception will now take place in 2021. @Lindsay Hackney Photography
3- Event Evolution. For yet others, the best option seems to be to make like Ross Geller and pivot. With the unknowns of vaccine options, second waves, travel restrictions, etc., many couples are now opting for the micro, or intimate wedding. My clients who are doing this like that it puts the control back in their hands by planning a wedding that works in today’s world. They don’t want to be faced with another potential postponement of a large reception and want the safe plan to be their “Plan A.” Typically these microweddings are for around 25-50 people (though most clients are leaning toward the lower guest counts to ensure they will be permitted within state guidelines). These microweddings were ALREADY a huge emerging trend before the virus because they allow for so much flexibility. Here is what I love about them:
A Reflection of You: The smaller scale allows for couples to plan a celebration that highlights what they love: Are you a cheese fanatic? How about a custom individual cheese board for each guest as they take their seats. Prefer the coffee house over a dance floor? What about an amazing acoustic guitar soloist to perform in a lounge setting after dinner? When you aren’t restricted by planning for the masses, its amazing how much creativity and personality you can inject.
It’s Personal. A celebration with 25-30 guests allows for intimacy. Real time & connection with all of your guests who you obviously hold very dear. With fewer guests you also get to really go all out on the details. Customized menu cards, guest gits, etc. make for a more memorable and personalized experiences for everyone.
Endless Venue Possibilities. Again, the smaller group and creative format of your wedding will literally open up so many more doors. Whether it be a small bistro, a beach, or a city rooftop, there are so many options for an intimate event.
Budget. The smaller group certainly allows to save money in so many places, and spend more on the details that matter to you.
What each couple ultimately decided to do was what made sense for them. It’s a matter of getting in touch with your real priorities. That can be tough. Of course exchanging vows with your soul mate, blah, blah, blah will be the first thing out of everyone’s mouth, but if you are going to feel a void from not getting to stand in front of 200 people in the dress of your dreams, or being hoisted up in the chair for a kick-ass hora, you are not alone. If it’s a moment you need to have, you are justified to wait. If it turns out you don’t need those things, you have permission to pivot. As always, I’m here to help.
