I’m a mom of 2 young boys. They are actually crazy. On a daily basis, I find myself saying things that I honestly never thought would come out of my mouth. Example: “Please take your brother’s sock out of your mouth.” Like words put into a sentence that have no sane reason to ever be strung together. Ever. Example: “Remember I told you I don’t like it when you put your toe in my ear?” So often I’m left wondering if anyone has ever had to say those words in the same sentence before in the English language or if it’s just me. Example: “I’m not sure it’s a good idea to eat mayonnaise from off of the washing machine, ok buddy?”

*These are my children. @Janelle Carmela Photography*

But it doesn’t just end with my kids! I’m willing to bet anyone who has spent time in the event industry has their own list of the things they can’t believe they had to say….to adults! These stories always crack me up so sharing a couple of my favorite lines that I swear actually came out of my mouth:

1- R2D2 Needs More Mushroom Caps. I’m not a Star Wars fan but ended up having a BLAST planning this Star Wars themed wedding- two MIT geniuses with a shared love for the Jedi Force really made this wedding theirs and there is nothing better than that. Guests in full costume. A light saber duel instead of a first dance. Chewbacca was a wedding guest! Again- I knew very little about Star Wars going into this. When they told me they were building an authentic R2D2 to serve hors d’oeuvres I asked, “Is that the skeleton or the trash can?” But when the wedding came and I found myself saying over radio headset that “R2D2 was out of mushroom caps” I knew the Force was with me. Here is the link to the hour long wedding video for anyone curious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqGBs7VmmfA&t=598s

2- No, our venue doesn’t allow wedding llamas. Does anyone remember this trend? Shocker, it was relatively short lived. Google it- I swear it was a thing. So much so that I had MULTIPLE couples in one year ask me about procuring a wedding llama for them. Llama Drama, am I right?

3- I’m not sure I can hire the band you want for your party since (you failed to mention) the lead singer has a restraining order on you. I had a client hire me to help put on a public concert she was giving as a gift to her town. It would be in the public park, open to all, with a headliner band! Who would be so generous? The ultimate fan girl, that’s who. Halfway through the planning process, the very bizarre details started to come out. But being professionals, we still made the show happen and the benefactor very much enjoyed herself. From 40 feet away.

4- I’m unable to hold in my baby. This was a fun one. A mother of one of my bride joined one of our design meetings and realized I was pregnant. It was February, the wedding was in June, my son was due in August. After the meeting I got an email from the mother asking if I thought the baby would be coming early or if I felt confident I’d make it through the daughter’s wedding. Hmmm.

5- Don’t take experimental medications the night before your wedding. This might be the most tragic thing I’ve seen on the job. After a year of great planning, I had an awesome client show up on her wedding day so miserable she wouldn’t walk down the aisle. She was angry at her groom because she heard from a bridesmaid that he had lost the rings earlier in the day and then found them right after, but she was still furious. After guests waited almost an hour, she did proceed with the ceremony, but then went back to her wedding suite after and never came back out. Not one picture was taken. She never had a dance. The groom ate dinner alone at their table. After the wedding, I received an email from her asking if they could come back to the venue in their wedding clothes to get some reenactment photos. She explained that she was offered a sleeping pill the night before her wedding to help with nerves and her behavior was to blame on this medication. I now tell this as a warning to all jittery clients. Just say no, people.

Did I really just say that :)?

Things I Never Thought I’d Have to Say

Getting on “The List”